


I Fall Apart

by HuntersMoon94



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec's POV, Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Secrets, Slow Burn, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:06:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuntersMoon94/pseuds/HuntersMoon94
Summary: The dance floor was packed with moving bodies dancing like they all wanted to forget for a while. Dimmed lighting with neon lights hitting everywhere and music booming. The whole place reeked of alcohol and sweat. Standing here at Pandemonium was the last place Alec wanted to be. Even though he’s secluded from everyone in the VIP section. He can’t help feeling anxious and out of place. Though, he knows he’s mostly nervous about seeing him after so long. He's almost positive he won’t want to see him after what he did. He wouldn’t blame him.or What if Alec married Lydia and Magnus left for three years. Now that he's back, a lot has changed but maybe somethings haven't.





	1. Malibu

**Author's Note:**

> Recommended songs to hear while reading:
> 
> The Weeknd - Can't Feel My Face  
> Halsey - Strangers ft. Lauren Jauregui  
> Miley - Malibu

The dance floor was packed with moving bodies dancing like they all wanted to forget for a while. Dimmed lighting with neon lights hitting everywhere and music booming. The whole place reeked of alcohol and sweat. Standing here at Pandemonium was the last place Alec wanted to be. Even though he’s secluded from everyone in the VIP section. He can’t help feeling anxious and out of place. Though, he knows he’s mostly nervous about seeing him after so long. He’s almost positive he won’t want to see him after what Alec did. He wouldn’t blame him.

 

“Shadowhunters” said Raphael in a monotone voice cutting off his thoughts. “He’s here and I’ve already had someone summon him. I have some business to do, tell him I’ll join you after I’m done.”

 

“Okay, thank you Raphael” Lydia said in her usual professional voice standing next to me. With a nod, Raphael walked away.

 

Alec shifts uncomfortably as he looks around and mentally prepares himself for what’s to come. He catches Izzy eyeing him with a knowing glint in her eyes. She smirks as he rolls his eyes and turns her attention back to the stuttering vampire who’s rambling about who knows what. Alec shifts his gaze toward Clary and Jace who look like they are horribly trying to ignore each other’s presence. Guess he’d be uneasy around someone who he fell in love with and kissed them only to find out that we’re siblings. Awkward…

 

Speaking of awkward, five shadowhunters and a vamp choosing to stand next to each other in a horizontal line ignoring the booth behind us defiantly draws attention. If the glares we’re receiving from downworlders in the club says anything. 

 

There’s a roar of cheers coming from the dance floor that catches everyone’s attention. At the dance floor there’s a bunch of people forming a crowd around someone. As Alec looks closer his heart skips a beat because in the middle of that crowd who’s caught everyone’s eye is Magnus Bane. In all his glitter glory is putting on a show that has the mundanes and downworlders whistling, cheering and eyeing him hungrily. He looks the same but different, the perks of being immortal I guess. He’s wearing a sheer silk black long sleeve button up that shows his fit body. Tight black leather pants that hug him in all the right places paired with black glittered boots. It seems that he’s grown facial hair, a neat goatee. His hair has changed as well, it’s a fohawk fade with red strips highlighted at the tips but his makeup still extravagant as always.

 

A vampire approaches Magnus and whispers in his ear that has him stop all together and flick his gaze towards us. He nods and proceeds to follow him as they make their way towards us. The feeling in Alec’s stomach get worse the closer he gets. He doesn’t once glace his way, just gracefully and confidently struts towards us. Alec prepares himself one last time as Magnus walks up those three steps and walks to stand in front of us with a smirk on his face.

 

-

 

“Well hello there shadowhunters” Magnus says in his smooth silky voice that makes Alec’s heart beat like crazy. He tilts his head towards Simon. “and Sherwin” he says with a smirk.

 

“Hi Magnus!” said Simon with the biggest grin. “I love your new hairstyle! Fohawk looks so cool on you.”

 

“Of course, it looks good on me. Everything does.” Magnus scoffs and throws a wink at Simon before he is trampled in a group hug with Izzy and Clary.

 

“We’ve missed you so much Magnus.” said Izzy as she nuzzles her head on Magnus’ shoulder. “Yeah, though texting you is always a pleasure there’s nothing better than the real thing.” Clary says as she tightens her hug.

 

Magnus with his arms wrapped around the girls and chuckles fondly, “I’ve missed you too darlings.” They break apart when Lydia clears her throat. Izzy and Clary roll their eyes as they go back to where they stood as Magnus sends them a small smile.

 

“We can trade pleasantries later. We’ve come to discuss more important matters. Magnus, thank you for meeting us. Have you been back long before being contacted by us?” Lydia asks firmly.

 

“I’ve been back for a week Mrs. Lightwood.” Magnus says. “Forgive me if I didn’t check in with you the second I arrived. As I needed time to get settled.” He says sarcastically. Alec winces when Magnus referred to her by her new last name. It was almost a jab at what he did years ago. He feels ashamed and guilt, but he married for his family and pushes those feelings away and stands taller as Magnus glances at him for only a second. He turns his attention back to Lydia who replies to him.

 

“Lydia is fine and no of course I understand you have your own life to attend to. Clary informed us that you finally found a way to reverse Ragnor Fell’s spell on Jocelyn?” She says.

 

“Ah, yes. I indeed discovered a solution for it. Though, I feel as if that’s not all you had us meet to discuss?” said Magnus as he raises one eyebrow. “That can wait for when Raphael joins us.” Lydia says as she shifts and clasps her hands together in front of her.

 

Just as Magnus was going to respond, another employee comes up to him. “Mr. Bane, she’s just arrived and was told where to find you.” He says and walks away after Magnus nods.

 

-

 

Alec watches Magnus as he turns his head and stare pass the crowd towards the entrance where a beautiful woman walks in. She has long thick curly wavy dark brown hair. She has the definition of an hour glass figure. Her brown eyes catch Magnus and she smiles so loving that it makes Alec want to look away, but he can’t. She walks towards us so elegantly that she reminds me of Magnus. So many heads turn as she walks by, but her eyes are set on Magnus. As she walks up the steps and towards him Alec can’t help but want to put himself between them. She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tight as he wraps his around her waist and pulls her closer. It’s just a hug but it looks so intimate. She’s shorter than Magnus, average height. She has smooth olive skin, a small nose with plump cupid-bow lips, big almond round brown eyes with long dark eyelashes. She’s wearing a tight white t-shirt dress with blue rose patch lace up knee high denim boots. They look like belong together, both have this essence that you just know are good people. They pull apart but only to lean in for a kiss. Alec looks away and tries to ignore the pang in his chest.

 

“ _Hola mi amor_.” She says with a sweet and loving voice. “Hello beautiful.” Replies Magnus matching her voice. They look deeply into each other’s eyes as if no one else is around, lost in their own world. Once they snap out of it they turn towards us holding hands.

 

“This is my girlfriend _Alondra De La Rosa_. My love, this is Isabelle Lightwood, Sam, Clary Fray, Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood and Lydia Lightwood.” He says as he gestures to us.

 

Alondra smiles widely as she says hello to everyone, but she looks at Lydia a bit longer than the rest of us. “Also, babe you know it’s Simon. Why must you tease him every chance you get?” she asks with a giggle. “It’s just his way of saying he loves me!” Simon says. The gang looks between the three surprisingly to see that Simon has somehow already acquainted her.

 

Just as Clary was going to question Simon, Jace who’s been silent the whole time asks in disbelief with an eyebrow raised, “You have girlfriend?”

 

“Yes, I do in fact have a girlfriend.” Replies Magnus has he turns his gaze towards Jace. They have this weird hard stare off for a few seconds before Magnus turns his attention back Alondra. “Did you feed the Chairman before you left?” he says softly.

 

“Of course, I even rubbed his belly afterwards as he purred so happily” she said. “That cat is so spoiled” Magnus scoffs amusedly.

 

“You have a cat?” Clary asks.

 

“Indeed, I do biscuit. It’s how we met actually.” The warlock says and gestures between him and his girlfriend. Simon face lights up when Magnus says that. “Oh! I love this story, tell it.” Said Simon. Magnus looks as Lydia since she made it clear we had more important things to do than to gossip. With a sigh she says, “Since we’ll be waiting for Raphael to finish up, we have time to spare.” Gesturing at Magnus to go on and right now Alec wishes he can strangle Simon for bringing it up.

 

-

 

“Well as I was traveling and looking for clues for Rangor’s spell. I stopped by California to talk to a fellow warlock who had something I needed. After a long day of extruding my magic I decided to visit the Malibu beach. As I walked around I saw a scared kitten hiding under a car. I was afraid that the owner of the car will be unaware and accidently run it over. So, I went towards it and befriended it. He immediately warmed up to me and let me hold him, it’s like it was meant to be.

“Since I was laying down with a cat in a parking lot, it caught this wonderful lady’s attention.” He bumped his shoulder with Alondra as she smiled. “She has experience in the medical world animal and human. So, she offered to look at him to make sure he was fine. After confirming he was fine but recommended to take him to the vet tomorrow, we hung out the rest of the day. We sat in the sand with a kitten and talked all night long. We connected on so many levels. Also, we were kind of going through the same thing, so we became friends first. We exchanged numbers and I stayed in California with her for most of the three years I was gone.” He said then kissed her cheek as she smiled at the gesture. Izzy, Clary and Simon coo at the couple while Jace and Alec looked annoyed. Lydia smiled at the story, but she seemed off.

 

Everyone was silent for a while and until the realization that our group expect Simon is starting at Alondra with questioning looks. She breaks the silence when she laughs and looks at Magnus to say, “You’re right, they’re definitely trying to figure out what I am.” She looks back at us as she walks from one end to the other of our group. “Can’t be a shadowhunter, no runes and no glamour. Am I a vampire? Skin doesn’t look a shade of pale plus no fangs. Am I a werewolf? Maybe, my scratch can be hidden. Am I a warlock? Maybe, I just have my mark hidden. Or am I simply a mundane who was told of your world by her warlock boyfriend?” She smirks at us then walks back to Magnus.

 

They both laugh as they hold each other’s hand. Blue and purple smoke of magic flow out of their clasped hands. They smile softly at each other as they let the magic die down and look back at us. “It doesn’t take genius to figure out that she’s a warlock.” Magnus smirks at their surprised looks.

 

Izzy is the first to speak, “Do you guys have matching tattoos or am I seeing things?” she says and points at the similar marks on both of their wrists. Alec hears Clary gasp and ask, “Did you?”

 

The warlocks share a look and then turn their attention back to us. “It’s a soulmate mark.” Magnus finally says. Everyone except Simon looks shocked and curious.

 

“Like a parabatai rune?” asked Jace.

 

Magnus shrugs and says “Kind of but not really. Warlocks tend to have two soulmates throughout their eternity lives. One will be immortal and the other will be mortal. We don’t choose who we are bonded with, it’s just destined. Whether you choose to accept them is entirely up to you and your soulmate. The mark will only appear if both accept each other not just one.”

 

Alec looks most shocked and frozen in place. His heart is beating so fast at what he’s just heard. He feels envy and jealousy towards her but knows he has no right to feel this way. His thoughts are caught off when Izzy asks.

 

“Have you met your mortal soulmate?” Magnus looks conflicted to reply when Raphael shows up.

 

“Let’s move to my office and start this meeting. No need to drag it out any longer.” He says sternly so that there’s no other choice but to follow as he walks towards the back room.

 

Alec sees Magnus sigh in relief to be saved from answering. Alondra grabs his hand to comfort him and smiles softly at him. Everyone follows Raphael but there’s this uneasy feeling in the air because of the unanswered question. Has he met his mortal soulmate? Does it matter if he did? Why did he look conflicted to say? Alec walks side by side with Lydia behind the warlock couple. He has so many questions roaming through his head.


	2. Identity

They walk into a room big enough to fit a desk and four chairs position in front of it. Raphael goes around and sits behind the desk as he watches the rest awkwardly figure out where to sit. Izzy chose to push Simon on one of the chairs and take her place on his lap. If he wasn’t undead there’d probably be a blush forming from the face he’s making. Izzy has this smug look to her face as she winks at Alec when he rolls his eyes and looks away. Though, he wishes he had turned a different way because he watches the way Magnus pulls Alondra by waist onto his lap and cuddle her closer to him. With clenched fist Alec turns to Lydia and offer for her sit while he stands behind her. Jace does the same with Clary, though Alec thinks she would’ve shoved him out of her way and sit anyway.

 

After we’ve settled, Raphael with an unimpressed expression speaks up “So, what is it you want?”

 

“We have sources that informed us that Valentine will be targeting Pandemonium soon. For what, we’re not completely sure.” Said Lydia

 

“Probably to capture and torture downworlders until they help him and kills those who won’t along the way.” Magnus scoffed

 

“That’s likely, which is why we’ve come to ask if you’d close Pandemonium for the time being. It’s not safe for the mundanes that will be caught in middle if the circle were to ambush you. I know that you two co-own it, so I wanted to discuss it with both you.” Said Lydia looking from Raphael to Magnus.

 

Raphael and Magnus share a look that they held for a few seconds before sighing “We agree, if we can prevent such chaos. We’ll be closed for the time being. Do you have a plan to use this to our advantage and take Valentine by surprise?” Raphael asked.

 

“Not yet but-“Lydia was cut off when Magnus suggested “Why don’t we make an announcement that we’ll be preparing for a big celebration. It’ll attract their attention while we set out a plan to ambush them instead. They won’t miss the chance to kill as many downworlders as they can.”

 

“That could work. We can set up a trap and have the place staged with glamoured shadowhunters ready to fight back.” Clary chipped in. The group all nod in agreement.

 

“Alright, we’ll be in touch to set out the plan.” Lydia rises but turns to the rest of the shadowhunters. “Stay behind until everyone has gone just in case they strike tonight. I have to go back to the Institute and report this to the clave.” She turns towards Alec, “Stay, I’ll take care of the paper work.” She gives his forearm a squeeze then walks away but not before glancing back at Alondra.

 

Alondra watches her until she’s out sight and turns her attention back to rest. “Since it’s barely eleven and the club doesn’t close till two, why don’t we chat for a bit.” She smiled at us all.

 

“You can all gossip, I’m going to get a drink and keep a look out.” Jace said as he walked out. Raphael followed suit as he still had business to attend to. Alec sat where Lydia once had and watched as Clary and Izzy had so many questions in mind.

 

“Magnus said that you have experience in medicine, are you a healer?” asked Clary

 

“Well that’s part of my gift but not entirely.” She responded “Oh don’t be so modest, she has many abilities. She’s one the most powerful warlocks alive, after me of course. As I am much older and wiser, while she’s so young.” He winked at her as she scoffed at him.

 

“Please, I’m over 200 years old! You may be older but certainly not wiser than me.” Alondra said. “But I do much more than just healing. I have…what mudanes refer to as psychic, mostly precognition.”

 

“You can see the future?!” Clary shouted excitedly, “So, can see what Valentine will do? Can you see the outcome of his plans and if he will succeed?”

 

“The future is complicated.” Alondra stopped her frantic questions. “What I see is not set and stone. The future can be altered by even breaking a leaf. You know? like the butterfly effect. We can use it to our advantage, but I don’t want a mob coming after me because it didn’t happen like I predicted.” Clary just nodded in understanding.

 

“Have you always lived in California?” Izzy asked suddenly.

 

“I’ve lived there before it became California, I was only 60 at the time when the U.S declared war on Mexico. I live in Cali, but I spent most of my time helping the unfortunate back in Mexico. Healing them and their animals. Gathering resources and rebuilding their villages so that they can have a better life. Living in the city, seeing so many strays made me want help further. For over a decade I’ve opened and ran my own veterinarian clinic in Los Angeles. I’ve ran organizations and shelters that benefited the homeless, both mundane and animals. Although I loved my life back in LA, the only time I’ve truly felt at home was when I was Magnus.” She looks at him lovingly, “So when he asked me to come to New York with him. I didn’t hesitate, I’d choose him every time if it came down to it. No matter the consequence.” She added.

 

Her words hit hard to Alec. He wonders if she meant to for it to, if Magnus had told her everything. It may seem that the only thing Alec did was marry Lydia but that’s not the case. He wished that was all he had done. He can’t say he regretted what he did but he regrets hurting Magnus even further. Alec wants to apologize to him, he wants forgiveness so that they can at least be friends. Not a day goes by that Alec doesn’t think about him and he desperately wants him back in his life, even if it’s just a friend. He’s happy that Magnus found someone who looks and treats him like he’s the moon and sun. He can see the look in Alondra’s eyes anytime she looks at him. Like she’s cherishing every inch of him. Alec knows that look because it’s the look Magnus and him once shared but now he doesn’t even glance his way.

 

“Have you both met your mortal soulmate?” Izzy curiously asked again as she looked back and forth between the warlocks.

 

“I-I have, long ago. They didn’t want me…so there’s that.” Magnus fiddled with his rings as he hung his head low. Izzy looked disappointed with his answer.

 

“I’ve met mine as well.” Alondra shrugged. Magnus snapped his head up and stared wide-eyed at her. “You have?! When?!” he asked her.

 

Alondra shook her head, “Today. Though I already know it won’t lead anywhere.” She said sadly. Magnus held her gaze before he blew blue smoke towards her. She inhaled it and they just stared at each other, but it looked like they were having a conversation. He gave her a pointed look and as she tilted her head innocently. After a few seconds, Magnus eyes widened as he gasped and looked towards Alec for only a second before he turned to her again. Izzy and Clary looked confused as much as he did. Simon looked amused and fascinated.

 

“Umm, am I missing something or are you having a conversation with expressions?” Clary asked. That seemed to snap the warlocks out their silent conversation. Alondra chuckled at their reactions.

 

“Since we’re soulmates, we have the ability to share our thoughts if the other consents. As you saw me welcoming his magic. We can speak to each other through our thoughts. Private conversations, you know?” she explained.

 

Magnus looked like he was still processing whatever they talked about. Alec wished he had this ability, to know what Magnus thought of him. Did he hate Alec? Probably, but he wondered if Magnus still thought of him. Would he give Alec the chance to apologize for-

 

“How do you know if you’re soulmates if the soul mark doesn’t appear until you’ve both accepted it?” Izzy asked

 

“Well, you have an instant reaction to each other. You feel things quicker than you would with others. Like, you meet on a Friday and be in love on Monday. It’s intense and overwhelming for both people. Since we’ve heard from others experience throughout the lifetimes we’ve been alive, we had an idea what to expect.” Alondra pointed between her and Magnus. “Though, when we met our mundane soulmates it’s likely they were confused and overwhelmed with feelings towards us. Probably brushed off with just attraction because they felt intense emotions.”

 

Alec kept replaying her words in his head. He had felt all that for Magnus, but had he felt the same for Alec? Magnus said he already met his mundane soulmate long ago, probably before Alec was even born. Hell, probably before his mom was born. Izzy was watching him with a sad look on her face when Clary spoke.

 

“Right, so then how do you and Simon know each other?” Clary asked stopping his train of thoughts.

 

“Oh! Well, Raphael would visit Magnus sometimes for a few hours every month while he was away. One day when a portal appeared, and I saw he was about to go into it when I asked if I can tag along. He agreed, so long as I kept my talking to minimum and that’s where I met Alondra. Ever since that night, I’ve gone with Raphael every month for a year visiting and sometimes I went on my own to just hang out with them.” Explained Simon happily.

 

“Yes, and we became the best of friends! We immediately bonded over music. We would play and sing together and even wrote some songs. I mean how much money have we spent going to concerts and music stores throughout the year?” Alondra laughed reminiscing their time spent together.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clary asked with a hurt look on her face. Simon sighed, “Because if Magnus wanted you to know he would’ve mention it in between your thousands of texts. I wasn’t sure if he just didn’t want anyone aware of where he was or something else, so I kept it to myself.” Shrugging as if it obvious that Magnus’ feelings came first than a good story to tell. That’s one of the things Alec liked of him. Simon was and will always be a loyal and great friend. He’s protective of those he loves, something they have in common.

 

“Well as much as this was fun, we have to get going.” Magnus turned towards Alondra. “Catarina wants to have breakfast tomorrow, remember?”

 

“Oh right! Yeah, we should get going. It was nice to meet you all! Have a safe night.” She smiled and waved us goodbye walking out of the office.

 

Just as Magnus was going to leave Alec grabbed his arm making him stop. He whips his head to him wide eyed before his eyes turn hard. He snatches his arm back with force like it burned where he touched him. It hurt so much to see him react this way towards him. “I-I’m sorry. Uh-I, can we talk, please.” Alec managed to stutter out.

 

Magnus stares back at him for few seconds before letting out deep breath. “Not tonight. I’ll contact you.” And with that he walked out not looking back. Alec let out a stuttered breath. He’s obviously angry with me but at least he agreed to talk. Talking is better than nothing at all, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Magnus and Alec will talk soon.  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Can you feel it?

 

[Flashback]

_“I won’t ask again.” the way Magnus said it like a goodbye. Alec couldn’t breathe at the thought of him gone. Before He knew it, he whipped around and crashed his lips to his. His first kiss, their first kiss. It felt like home. Caught by surprise it took Magnus a few seconds before he returned with as much force. He held onto Alec like he was afraid he’d disappear. He felt Magnus lick his bottom lip, asking for permission which he immediately granted. Alec feels his knees buckle at the touch of their tongues colliding. They kissed until they no longer can breathe._

_When they pulled apart Magnus looked at with so much love that Alec never wanted nothing more than to wake up to him every day. He takes step back and Magnus’ face drops instantly. He wants to slap himself because he probably thinks Alec regrets it. He doesn’t ever want to see that hurt expression on his face ever again. Alec leans in for another kiss and I feel him smile as he lets out a satisfied hum. The kiss starts out so slow and soft full of passion it makes his toes curl. As the kiss heats up, Alec pushes him towards his room. When they reach the end of his bed I push him down to straddle him and continue kissing. After a while I pull away long enough to pull my shirt over my head. He takes a hold of me and switch our positions. He kisses so softly down my neck to my chest that makes me shiver. I pull him back to me and kiss him with all that I have. As Alec reaches down to pull his shirt off he tenses and sits up facing away from me. He has eyes shut tight and he’s pinching the bridge of his nose._

_When he manages to catch his breath Alec worriedly asks, “Did I do something wrong?”_

_“No such thing.” Magnus waves me off. “It’s just sometimes I lose control.” Alec sits up and rubs down his back in a comforting gesture. He gives him time to calm down. Magnus eventually turns his body towards me and lifts his head up to meet my gaze. I gasp when I’m met with the most beautiful golden cat eyes. I’m so mesmerized that I almost miss the way he flinches away from me._

_I cup his face and lean closer, my eyes never leaving his. I lick my lips and smile as I softly say, “Magnus, they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” His face lights up as much as his eyes shine at my words. He smiles and holds my wrist._

_Even though I’ve never had any experience with relationships, there’s something about what I feel when I’m around him. I feel complete, safe and full of… love? Is it possible to be in love this soon? It feels like I’ve felt this way the moment our eyes first met. His eyes say that he feels the same. The way he looks at me like he can see a future with me and I feel the same._

_Magnus leans in and presses the softest kiss to my lips, like he brushed my lips with a feather. He pushes down the bed and straddles my hips. He smiles down on me like he’s won the lottery and it makes my heart race. I feel my face heating up, so I pull him down for another kiss._

_Once we’ve stripped down, leaving only our underwear’s left. I reach down to pull his down when he grabs my wrist preventing me. I look up to find his face full of nerves._

_“W-wait. What about your wedding tomorrow?” Magnus asked nervously. I cup his face and stroke his cheek causing him to shut his eyes and lean into it. “Magnus, there’s something about us that I can’t deny. I’ve never felt so connected with anyone, like I do with you. When you’re not around or when you’re across the room, I feel this pull inside of me that needs to be with you. I-I love you.” I whisper the last part, afraid of his reaction._

_His eyes snap open and looks back and forth between my eyes. Like he’s searching for any indication that it’s a lie. When he doesn’t find it, his eyes brighten, and he smiles wide. He kisses me rough with so much love and pulls back with tears in his eyes. “I love you too Alexander.”_

_We make love for hours and as we lay with his head on my chest trying to catch our breaths, I can’t help but feel complete. It’s like there’s this warm blanket surrounded us, protecting us from the world outside. I look down at Magnus, watching as he tries his best to stay awake. Like he’s afraid I’ll change my mind or if he’ll wake up only to realize it was a dream. I stroke his hair and give it a kiss._

_“Go to sleep my love, I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.” I whisper softly into his hair. He gives my chest a kiss and lets out a deep breath as he settles closer. I stroke his back until we both fall asleep._

 

[End of flashback]

-

 

Alec snaps out of the flashback and looks at the closed door in front of him. A few days have passed since seeing Magnus again. He sent Alec a fire message yesterday inviting him over to talk today. To say he’s freaking out is an understatement. He’s stood there for about 15 minutes not having the courage to knock. Being here brought back those memories Alec tried so hard to keep in the back of his mind. Maybe he should just accept how things are now and go back to the Institute and work away his thoughts. Just as Alec was about to walk away the door swung open revealing Alondra. She was bare of any makeup, she was even more beautiful without it. Her outfit indicating, she is going to work out in blue a two-piece activewear with her hair up in a ponytail.

 

“Thought I’d invite you in since you’ve been out her for a while.” She smiled and opened the door wider giving him room to slip in. He thanks her as he passes by and to stand in the middle of the living room.

 

“Magnus is in the shower, he’ll be out soon.” Alec nods firmly and clasp his hands together behind his back. She tilts her head to the side and narrows her eyes at him before they soften. “I’m sorry for what I said last time, about certain choices. I know it bothered you. I should have kept my comments to myself. Whatever is going between you two is none of my business.” She sighs before walking towards the couch and gesturing for him sit. Alec chose to sit in the armchair across from her.

“Magnus has told me **everything**. I guess I was a bit bitter to see the man who broke his promises. It may or may not meant much to you but those were not empty words for him. He believed in you and was completely vulnerable. Seeing you made me so angry because I thought for months as I saw Magnus try to build himself back, how could you have the heart walk away from him? I can see the way you look at him, it’s not like you don’t feel anything. You clearly do, I can feel it.” Alondra says looking at him softly.

 

Alec shakes his head, “Why are you saying this. What’s the point? He loves you, that’s clear as glass.”

 

“I know he loves me. That doesn’t erase what he had felt for you. Don’t compare us with each other. It’s not about who he loves more. What he feels for me is not what he feels for you and vise versa.” She lets him take a second to let her words sink in. “If he wants you I’d let him go. If you are what he wants I’ll support him.” Alondra says it like it’s nothing.

 

Alec’s heart races and he stares at her with wide eyes before shaking my head, “How can you say that? You love him, and you are soulmates.” He says in disbelief.

 

She smiles so warm at him it makes his heart skip a beat. “I have eternity.” She shrugs. “I’d do anything for Magnus to be happy. Being with you doesn’t mean he loves me any less. What you two have is undeniable, it’s what people search decades even lifetimes to have. I see it the aura that flows between you two. Who am to stand in the way of two people who are destined to be together. You’re a good man who loves fiercely. You were put in difficult situation, I understand that the love you have for your family is without compare.” She leans her body towards Alec and looks into his eyes deeply, “but you deserve to be happy too.” She says softly.

 

Alec’s left speechless as she stands up when Magnus walks into the living room all dressed up. “Darling have you seen my signature M ring? I thought I left it on th-“ He stops in his tracks when he sees Alec. “Oh. Hello. I’m sorry I haven’t checked the time. Have you waited long?”

 

Alondra walks towards Magnus, “I let him in, is that okay?” she continues after he nods. “I’m going for a run then probably stop by the shops. Te veré luego, mi amor. Llámame si me necesitas.” She gives him a peck on the cheek and goes to grab her phone and earbuds. “Bye Alec, have a nice day.” She smiles and waves and turns to leave. Alec returns her smile and bid her goodbye.

 

-

 

The room is silent for a couple of seconds after she left. Alec can’t help but think about what she said. She’s so selfless and kind to someone like him who she’s only met twice. He can’t even imagine what she’s like to those close to her. She’s protective and doesn’t hold back for others and speaks her mind. In another time he thinks they would’ve been good friends.

 

“Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee or perhaps a scotch?” Magnus asks after a while.

 

“No, water is fine thanks.” Alec says with a strained laugh. He watches as Magnus chooses to walk into the kitchen to retrieve it rather than with a snap of his fingers. He looks beautiful in the white button up that shines in when the light catches it. He’s wearing tight light blue jeans paired with brown boots. He’s went with a neutral makeup that has him glowing.

 

Alec’s nervous to talk about what happened years ago but so much as to be cleared up. There’s so much he doesn’t know about why he did it. Why he walked away from the only thing that brought happiness into his life.


	4. Keep Him Safe

 

Magnus walks back into the living room with a glass of water and a cup of tea. He hands Alec the water where he is seated in the armchair across the couch. Magnus sits on the couch and takes a sip of his tea then lets out a big breath like he’s preparing himself. He sets his tea onto the coffee table in front him and looks up at Alec.

 

“So…” Magnus breaks the silence.

 

“So…” Alec repeats.

 

Magnus signs, “You said you had some things to say, I’m all ears.” He hugs himself and leans back in his seat.

 

“Right.” Alec sighs “I’m sorry that I broke my promises, Magnus and I’m sorry that I left before you woke. I had no choice- well I did but I let myself me manipulated and I just…” Alec lets out a stuttered breath. “I’m just so sorry and I-I really miss you Magnus.” Alec’s voice cracks. He tries to hold in the tears that threatens to fall. He wants to stay strong, he was raised to be a soldier but when it came to Magnus his emotions were always out of control.

 

“I know I hurt you and I have no right to ask, but c-can we be friends?” Alec looks at Magnus with hope in his eyes. “I’ll do anything Magnus just, please. Can we be in each other’s lives.” Alec can’t get a read on Magnus face, he’s gotten good at hiding behind a mask, at least when Alec’s around. It makes Alec sad to think that they’re back to how they were in the beginning, expect he’s the one persisting this time.

 

Magnus straightens up with a serious face in his face, “Who manipulated you?” Alec opens his mouth but Magnus cuts him off. “and don’t say it doesn’t matter. It does and If you want any sort of friendship with me you have to be honest.” He says sternly.

 

Alec’s nervous to talk about it since he’s kept it to himself since that day. He clears his throat and sits up straight.

 

“When I woke up that morning I had no intention to leave. I looked over at you and I knew I wanted to always wake up to you.” He pauses still hesitant to say anything. “You looked so tired, so I decided to try and cook you breakfast. When I walked into the living room…Camille was there.” He hears Magnus gasp and watches as his shoulders tense up.

 

“I didn’t who she was until days later so, I was ready to rush back to the room for my seraph blade, but she singled two other vamps behind me…

 

[Start of flashback]

 

_“I wouldn’t if I were you shadowhunter.” Camille smirked and walked predatory towards me._

_“One move and I’ll have one of my lovely friends slice Magnus’ throat with your own sword. I wonder what it would it look like, the high warlock murdered by the head of the Institute.” She smiles devilishly at me._

_“What do you want and who the hell are you?” Alec hissed._

_“For you to stay away from my Magnus. You see, word has spread that a certain Nephilim caught his heart. And that just won’t do.” She walks towards the armchair and gracefully sits and crosses her legs. She looks back at me. “Magnus and I used to be lovers. Sadly, my little pet has runaway and it’s time for him to return.” I hate the way she refers Magnus, who the hell does she think she is._

_“He’s not a fucken animal. Don’t talk about him like that. Is no wonder you’re not together anymore.” Her eyes narrow and I can see I hit a nerve._

_“I also heard today’s your wedding day, congratulation. Though, it looks like you only have an hour till it starts. You should get going, I’m sure your fiancé wouldn’t want to be kept waiting. Don’t worry about Magnus, I’ll be here. Always.” She emphasizes on always like mentioning my mortality would ever stop me from being with Magnus._

_“You know, a friend of mine has informed me that the beautiful dark hair shadowhunter is frantically trying to get everything perfect for your big day.” I tense when I hear her mention Izzy. “And the blonde tends to be out late at night alone lately. OH, and how can I forget naughty little Max. Sneaking off school grounds when nobody’s watching… or so he thought. What a shame if something were to happen to them as well.”_

_She smirks, I want to strangle her, but I can see the vamps behind me move closer towards Magnus’ room. I don’t want to leave but something in my gut tells me she isn’t bluffing. My heart is beating like crazy and I’m sure she can heart by her eyes light up to my hesitation. I love him, but I don’t doubt her threats against them all. He doesn’t deserve this, and neither do my siblings. I’d do anything to keep him safe, even if he hates me for it._

_“If I agree to stay away, you have to leave first and swear not lay a single finger on him or my family. If any of them are harmed, I’ll come for you and you’ll wish you never met me.” Alec gritted out and looks at her coldly. I can see the glint her cold dark eyes._

_Camille stands up and walks towards me and lifts her hand to brush against my cheek. I flinch away, and she just laughs. She orders her vampires to wait for outside. Once they’re gone she turns her attention back to me. She has this strange look in the way she’s staring at me._

_“Don’t worry angel face, someone else will come along and he’ll forget all about you. That’s what he does, he makes you believe that he belongs to you only to leave you. It’s for the best.” She walks away and it’s only when the door shuts that I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I can tell she’s lying. Magnus isn’t capable of being that cruel, but Camille… I feel all the evil essence surrounding her. The way she speaks, walks, looks and talks. Nothing good comes from being involved with her._

_I walk back to the bedroom, I watch how his chest rises and the soft breaths he lets out. I feel tears falling but I don’t bother to wipe them. I don’t want to leave him, but I won’t risk it. For all I know she can still be out there waiting. I walk towards him and sit beside him. I brush the hair out of his forehead and lean down and kiss him softly on the lips. I let out a quiet choked sob._

_“I’ll always love you.” Alec whispers against Magnus lips and presses one last kiss._

_I get dressed as fast I can and start to walk away. With one last glance at him, I watch him sleepily reach out for me where I was supposed to be. It breaks my heart to know he’ll wake up alone to the news that I’m married. I leave and keep going. I know I was about to make the biggest mistake, but I’d do anything to keep him safe._

[End of flashback]

-

 

Magnus looks pissed. His eyes hold so much anger and sadness. He inhales and lets out a big breath. His jaw is clenched as he looks towards the wall of windows. Alec doesn’t know if he’s angry at him or at Camille, maybe both. The silence drags out as Alec waits for Magnus to say something, anything.

 

“You could have told me.” Magnus finally says, he sounds distant and angry. “You could have told your siblings. You could have woken me up after she left. There’s so many things you could’ve done but you chose to marry Lydia for god’s sake!” He lets out a frustrated breath and rubs his face with his hand. “I… I understand how Camille can get into your head. I know what she’s capable of, but you could have least told me.” He whispered out the last part. Alec’s heart clenches when Magnus looked straight into his eyes. “Even if you made the same decisions. I wish you would’ve told me, I can’t imagine the heavy load you had to carry on your own. This whole time I thought you just used me or that I just wasn’t worth the trouble. I truly believed I was going to wake up to you and a better future.”

 

Alec wants to run to him and embrace him into his arms where he belongs… or at least he did. So much has happened since that night. He lost his chance. Alondra may have been supportive but what if Magnus is over him. What if he feels like he dodged a bullet and found who’s meant to be with. There’s nothing Alec can do or say that will fix his mistakes.

 

“I’m sorry, I know I sound like a broken record but I’m just really sorry.” Magnus looks like he has something to say but is hesitant.

 

“If we’re being honest here, there’s some things I haven’t been upfront with. Alondra has encouraged me to listen to you with an open mind and spread some truth myself.” He takes a deep breath and looks at Alec straight in the eye. “After that day, I swore I wasn’t ever going to tell you or anyone, if I’m honest. But Alondra is very trust worthy and I trust her with my life. After I told her, she instated that you knew regardless of our differences.” Magnus hesitates to continue, and Alec’s scared of what he’s hidden from him.

 

“When I mentioned to you all that I’ve met my mortal soulmate and they rejected me.” Alec’s hearts beating so fast, but he doesn’t know why. He had felt jealous and bitter when Magnus mentioned he already met his other soulmate. Alec knew he shouldn’t but how can anyone be stupid to not want to be bonded with Magnus. His thoughts are interrupted by Magnus sighing. Magnus kept his eyes locked with Alec when he spoke again. 

 

“You’re my mortal soulmate Alexander.”


	5. Where do we go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've rewritten the previous chapters and added some to it. If you want to go back and reread.

**Soulmate**. Alec was Magnus’ other soulmate. Magnus was Alec’s soulmate. That word just keeps playing in his head repeatedly. Soulmate Soulmate Soulmate. They were soulmates, but Alec has ruined everything by marrying someone else. He was destined to be with Magnus. What he felt wasn’t because he was first man to give him attention. It wasn’t because Magnus was Lothario and wanted to add Alec to his long list like his mother had remined him constantly. Those three years were torture without Magnus. There were so many days he just wanted to leave and search for him. To hold him one last time and beg for forgiveness. They **belonged** together. How could have he been so stupid?! Magnus was right, he should have told him and stayed with him. They could have figured something out together, but no! Alec had go and fuck everything up and now he must live with the consequences.

 

“-ec? Alec? ALEXANDER!” Hearing Magnus call him by given name brought him out of his mind spiraling. “Calm down, you look like you’re on a verge of a panic attack. Here drink this.” Magnus snapped a cup of tea on the coffee table in front Alec. When he reached out for it he only then realized that he was shaking. As we drank some tea to calm himself he kept thinking about Magnus saying him Alexander. He had obviously noticed that since they reunited Magnus had only called him by Alec. It felt so wrong to hear it from Magnus.

 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.” Magnus looks nervous and a bit sad. Before Alec can respond he continued. “I know you want to talk more about this but perhaps another day? I think you need time to really process it and not just outburst your confessions.” So, he’s afraid Alec will say something that he’ll regret and take back. “I have a book that has all the information you’d want to know about the soulmate bond. I can lend it to you and you can read it over, so you’ll know more about our…situation.” Magnus nervously gestured with his hands as he talked.

 

Alec lets out a stuttered breath. “Yeah, okay. Is it okay if I text or call you to ask you about it? Do you have the same number?” Magnus was right, he needed time to process everything. Even if they were both sure of what they felt. There were so many things and people in their way. He wasn’t sure where they would go from here, hopefully at least a friendship. Even if what Alec wanted was more.

 

“Yes, it’s the same and you can ask me anything.” Magnus got up and went towards the bookcases and pulled out an ancient brown book. He took a moment before he turns back and made his way towards me. He gently hands me the book after Alec set down his cup. It weighs light on his hands. The front cover has Latin text _Anima Mate_. “It translates to Soulmates.” Alec hears Magnus say softly. He was so infused by book that he almost didn’t hear him. Alec carefully skims through the book, afraid he’ll tear a page and ruin it.

 

Alec’s phone startles them both, breaking the silence with it’s obnoxious sound. He fishes it out his jacket and sees it’s Lydia calling. “Hello? Yeah, I’m still at Magnus’. Where? Uh I’ll ask him. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.” Alec ended the call and stood up quickly, took out his stele and began activating some runes. He looks up at Magnus nervously. “Lydia said that there’s a tip that two dozen circle members were spotted in Bushwick. She asked if you and Alondra can accompany us just in case more appear.”

 

Magnus holds up a finger as he takes his phone out. “Let me give Alondra a call.” Alec walks away to give him privacy.

 

“Hey, are you done with your run? Lydia asked if we can help them on a mission right now. Yeah. In Bushwick- huh? I’ll text you the address then.” Magnus turns to Alec as he snaps on a new outfit. Black Jeans, black boots, his usual accessories, a tight black turtle neck with a burgundy coat over it. “You ready? Let’s go.”

 

With a nod he deglamorizes his bow and quiver. He creates a portal a block away in an alley where Alec tells him the address. Before Alec walks into the portal he remembers the book Magnus lend him. He doesn’t want to risk losing or damaging it. “Can I come back for the book after the mission?” Magnus nods amusingly. They give each other one last glance before walking through.

 

-

 

Walking out of the portal, Alec spots Lydia and a few shadowhunters at the end of the alley. He sees Lydia wave at him and he’s about to move when another portal appears. Alondra walks out still dressed in her athletic gear.

 

“Hey.” She gave Magnus a peck on the lips then turned towards Alec. “Where are the others?”

 

Alec pointed behind her and they made their way towards them. Lydia walked to stand next to Alec and gave him a ‘ _How did go?’_ look. Alec just pursed his lips indicating now wasn’t the time.

 

“Hello, Magnus and Alondra. Thank you for coming. I’ll get you three caught up.” Her eyes lingered at Alondra before she faced all three of them. Alec didn’t miss the way they both eyed each other. “There were four shadowhunters on patrol when they spotted a group of over two dozen with circle runes.”

 

“That’s odd, that they would be so out in the open in clear daylight. It’s barely 4pm and they decide to risk being followed? Doesn’t this seem like a trap?” Magnus said.

 

“Yeah that’s why we need as much back up as we can get. It’s likely to be a trap but Valentine has done enough damage. We can’t miss an opportunity to catch him or at least his army and get them to confess.” Lydia replied.

 

“Where is Jace, Izzy and Clary? Alec noticed that he hadn’t seen them among the group of shadowhunters waiting for orders.

 

“They should be here any minute. Clary insisted that Simon come along but because he’s a vampire, they had to take his van since the sun is still out.” Just as Lydia finished a van pulled up with everyone except Simon getting out. The trio walked towards them well armed with weapons.

 

“Simon will be a look out if they try to ambush us.” Was the first thing Clary said as Jace rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Let’s just hope that he doesn’t get himself kidnapped. We don’t need those kinds of distractions.” Clary just glared at him and was about to say something when Izzy spoke.

 

“Right, like you acting as a hero and making more of a mess because Valentine gets under your skin.” Izzy sarcastically said to Jace then ignored his protests. “Magnus, Alondra I’m so glad you guys came along.” She smiled at them. “Lydia did you already checked the perimeter of the building so that we can move in?”

 

Straighten up her posture, Lydia began giving orders. “We circled the building from the streets and rooftops. I’ve already planned out everyone’s positions. I paired everyone with a partner and told them not to split up for any given reason. Izzy and Clary, you’ll be together. Jace and Alec-“

 

“Who will you be with?” Alec asked worriedly.

 

“With us of course.” Magnus smirked at the look Alondra had on her face. “Right? She’ll be safe with two powerful warlocks.”

 

“Uh um. Yes, we’ll have your back Lydia.” Her silky voice stuttered. Alec saw the way Lydia reacted over hearing her name being said by Alondra. He wanted to ask but now wasn’t the time.

 

“O-okay.” Lydia cleared her throat then ushered everyone together. “Let’s go, you know your orders. Try to keep them alive but stay safe.” She nodded at everyone. Alec hoped that this wasn’t a trap and they’ll be able to capture Valentine but that’s just wishful thinking.


	6. Duties

This chapter is Magnus’ POV-

 

Everyone went their separate ways around the abandoned warehouse. Lydia told us the floorplan and everyone’s positions. The building had two floors but no rooms only a bathroom. The second-floor loft was wrapped in a balcony. The warehouse was an open floorplan. So, they decided that Alec and Jace will come in from the second-floor window. Izzy and Clary will be bait and come in at the front. Alec was going to see from a high point to give Izzy the green light to barge in and start chaos. The rest of the shadowhunters will be surrounding any possible entrance of the building ready to march in with Lydia’s or Alec’s command. Or to catch any circle members who try to escape.

 

The three were walking towards the back of the building to sneak in. Magnus watched as Alondra tries so hard not to stare at Lydia that is walking beside her. He chuckles quietly but she still heard it if the way she glares at him says anything. He smirks back at her and blows blue smoke as she inhales it.

 

_“Why you are being so awkward, talk to her!”_ Magnus spoke to her through their thoughts.

 

_“What am I supposed to say! Oh hey, nice weather we’re having huh? By the way, we’re soul bound but you married my other soul mate’s soul mate.”_ She sarcastically said as Magnus rolled his eyes.

 

_“Just be friendly my love. I know you want to know more about her. You’ve been restless since the night at the club. Try casually inviting her for lunch, simple and harmless. I’m not telling you to blur out that you are soulmates. I get how confusing and intense it is, especially since she doesn’t know what you do. I’m right here don’t overthink it.”_ Magnus softly held her hand and squeezed it to encourage her.

 

“So…Lydia, how’s being co-leaders of the New York institute?” Alondra awkwardly asked. Lydia turned her head towards her surprised that Alondra talked to her.

 

“Uh yes, it’s time consuming and stressful but I’m happy to be apart of making the city safer.” She smiled at Alondra. “How are you adjusting to New York, do you miss sunny Los Angeles?” she teased.

 

“I love it here, though California will always be my home.” She winked at Lydia playfully. Lydia smiled brightly at her and was about to respond but they’d reach the building.

 

The trio quietly opened the back door and slowly went inside. They walked into a big open room filled with crates and circle members. They quickly moved behind a big pile of crates to not be seen. Magnus waved his hand over the crate to be able to see through it. There were a few circle members standing around talking among themselves. Lydia got a text from Alec, Magnus and Alondra leaned closer to see.

 

**To: Lydia**

**From: Alec**

**There are fifteen circle members on the ground floor and two on the second floor, but they didn’t see us. That means there are three others out of sight.**

 

**To: Alec**

**From: Lydia**

**Let’s wait till we spot the last three for another five minutes.**

 

Lydia looked the warlocks for reassurance and sent it after they nodded. Alec texted back at the same time.

 

**To: Lydia**

**From: Alec**

**The missing two were under the balcony but are now guarding the front entrance.**

Just then a loud squeaky door was opened, coming out the last missing circle member. It looked like a bathroom was behind that door. Lydia texted everyone that they should capture as many circle members and Alec gave Izzy and Clary the go. Magnus and Alondra looked at each other and silently asking one another to be safe. When it comes to Valentine, you just don’t know what to expect.  Magnus hoped that everything will go as plan, but you never know what life throws at you. With that last thought, he heard the girls crash through the front door taking down the first two circle members. Magnus, Alondra and Lydia got into position ready to intervene when the time came.

 

**-**

 

“I caught three.” said Jace.

 

“Okay, so that makes 8 captured, 10 took their own lives and two got away.” Lydia announced. She sighs and rubs her neck. Magnus feels exhausted, the fight had been chaotic, and the circle members did not go without a fight. There’s blood and crates scattered everywhere, broken glasses, dead bodies lying in a puddle of their own blood. Sometime during the fight and the circle members knew it wasn’t looking good for them, they dragged a warlock out of the only bathroom. The warlock had light green skin and scales around his arms and neck. Magnus can tell they’ve been injecting him with something because his skin was filled with purple veins. He looks so weak and defeated but helped them out of fear, he supposes. In the end two circle members escaped with the warlock going through a portal he created.

 

During the fight, Lydia had been struck by the other warlock and she seem to be in excruciating pain that her healing rune would not help. Magnus can see that Alondra wanted nothing more than to heal her, but Lydia put her duties first and was checking on everyone else. Now that everything was settled, all the shadowhunters were heading back to the Institute. Knowing Alondra, she wouldn’t be calm until she knew Lydia is safe.

 

“Lydia, why don’t me and Alondra come back with you in case you need to get our statements. Plus traveling through portal will be better than walking with eight circle members.” Magnus said. He can feel Alondra’s appreciations through their bond.

 

“That would great, thank you.” Lydia said tiredly.

 

-

 

Magnus opened a portal to the Institute, everyone had gone through already except him, Alondra, Lydia and Alec. Just as Lydia was going to go in she fainted and almost fell but Alondra had caught her. Magnus wasn't surprised, whatever that warlock hit her with had been draining her since. She lifted Lydia in her arms and tightened her embrace as she walked through the portal. Alec gave Magnus a tired smile and went through as well. Magnus took one last look at the warehouse, he couldn’t help but feel like someone was watching him. He shook his head and walked through, the portal closing behind him. Little did he know someone was creeping in the shadows, watching him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry I haven't updated. I just started my summer class and I have a little over twenty assignments every week. So I don't really have time to do anything but I'll try to write more.


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